


Band Ten Hut

by jonginnie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Marching Band, Attempt at Humor, Crack, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4579104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonginnie/pseuds/jonginnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suho takes extreme pride over being drum major and over his marching band. (or does he?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Band Ten Hut

_Hey, Band Geeks!_

_First and foremost, I’d like to welcome new members (all 2 of you!), and welcome back returning members! Are you all ready for the new marching season? No? Too bad! Cause it’s here, and you guys better be prepared for it!_

  * _Band camp starts in a few days, and I know you all got the hand out with the information so I don’t need to talk about it. Instead, as your drum major (THAT’S RIGHT, ME, KIM JUNMYEON, NOT KIM JONGDAE), I’d like to clarify a few personal things for older members:_
  * _Instrumentalists, please do NOT piss off guard. (And Luhan, if they do, that does NOT give you the right to beat them with your flagpole!)_
  * _You are NOT allowed to piss on the field, and there are NO special rules permitting upperclassmen to!_
  * _Trombones and trumpets, please refrain from battling out who the better brass instrument is. (Chanyeol, do NOT jump in and say that tuba reigns supreme over all.)_
  * _Water breaks are not to be utilized for quickies in the bathroom!_
  * _As field lieutenants, you are NOT granted any privilege of longer lunch breaks. (Baekhyun, a sale at Sephora is no excuse for tardiness!)_
  * _Wear sneakers, people, come on! This is band camp, not a fashion show! (No, Kris, I don’t care about how much you want to show off your new Hugo Boss dress shoes.)_
  * _Lastly, have fun! Marching band is in no way a non-escapable degrading prison! (And whoever reported that to the principal last year, we are still looking for you!)  
_



_Your Drum Major, Kim Junmyeon._

_P.S. – Please do not believe any rumors telling you that Kim Jongdae is the real drum major; he is just a very bitter man_.

 

-

  

So today is the day. The first day of band camp. Suho inhales. He eyes the field. He’s ready.

“Good morning, everyone! I would like to-”

“Shut up, Suho! We are trying to practice here!” Luhan, the colorguard captain, is in the parking lot with the other colorguard members. His hand is gripped tightly around his flag, and he holds it in a threatening manner that scares the shit out of Suho.

“O-Okay,” the drum major says more quietly. With awkward hand motions, he gathers the band into one giant circle for a pep talk. “Alright, which one of you managed to piss off guard so early in the morning?”

 

-

 

(“Minseok, you know better than this!”

“All I did was tell them that their loop spins were off!”)

 

-

 

Suho works with the drumline while the other instrumentalists learn their music, and the colorguard do their thing with their flags (He already hears their coach yapping about a mistake).

“Set-“

Suddenly, a shirtless tuba player (Suho doesn’t even want to think about why) runs into the auditorium, and screams,

“Chanyeol got his hand stuck in a sousaphone again!”

Suho reminds himself to talk to Director Lee about section leader roles.

 

-

 

On his way to the band director’s office, Suho passes by Kyungsoo, a clarinet junior. The boy stiffly walks forward, avoiding eye contact with him. Suho still stares regardless.

Kyungsoo turns around, throwing his arms in the air, and confesses, “I have a reed up my ass, okay?”

Suho decides to check on the clarinets first.

 

-

 

(“Who put the reed up Kyungsoo’s ass?”

“We were playing truth or dare!”)

 

-

  

One of the flute sophomores, Tao, approaches Suho in the hall.

“Oh man, I’m not feeling well. I don’t think I can go on for the rest of the day.” He touches his forehead with the back of his hand, and starts breathing deeply.

“Tao, we haven’t even started doing our drill yet.”

Tao proceeds to let out a disgusted “uch”, stomps his foot, and cusses in Chinese as he walks away.

Suho needs to talk to the flute section leader.

  

-

  

After checking in on all the instrumentalists, Suho takes a chance and visits guard.

 

-

  

“How is my favorite colorgu-“

_Clang!_

“Get out of here, no one likes you!”

Luhan is a very very scary person.

 

-

 

It’s finally time to learn the drill. Everyone walks out to the field, and, by the looks on their faces, are probably dreading life.

While they all pile on sunscreen, Chanyeol bursts through the doors completely naked.

“No tanlines for me! Not this year, baby!”

Suho really needs to talk to Mr. Lee about section leader roles.

  

-

 

(“You can’t just be butt naked, Chanyeol!”

“Woah woah woah, you can control me when it comes to music and marching, but when it comes to my body, it’s my life!”)

 

-

 

Chanyeol gets four mosquito bites on his butt (Which finally forces him to put on some clothes).

Suho thanks the mosquito gods.

 

-

 

Director Lee puts Suho in charge of individually conducting the trumpets (“Budgets cuts,” he replies when the drum major asks where the previous brass instructor is).While he’s with them, Suho takes an unfortunate step into a brown, mushy substance.

Shit (the real thing).

“Ugh, these damn geese!” He whines, rubbing the soles of his shoes on the grass, hoping to rub away the feces.

Minseok’s eyes widen.

“I-I know right,” he says nervously, running a hand through his hair.

“Always leaving their shit around,” he continues, backing away slowly.

“T-Those stupid geese-“

He takes off, leaving a confused expression on Suho’s face and knowing smiles on the other trumpets’.

 

-

 

Suho makes a note to add “no shitting on the field” to his letter next time (In truth, he wishes he doesn’t have to).

 

-

  

Kim Jongin, a sax player and one of the two freshmen who joined (No, Suho was not kidding when he put it in the letter), approaches him and gives him an envelope.

“My section leader wanted me to give this to you. Jongdae says he apologizes for being a sore loser.” “

Thank you.” Suho smiles as the younger retreats to his section. He is proud of Jongdae for finally moving past not being drum major. Good for Jongdae.

 

-

 

Suho opens the envelope during the lunch break and almost spits out his food. Inside it are pictures of a naked Baekhyun and his ass. Screw Jongdae.

  

-

 

“Kris.”

“Hm?”

“Where’s Baekhyun?”

“Mentioned something about a sale at Sephora.”

Suho fumes. He put this on the letter, goddammit.

 

- 

 

Suho sells the nudes to Chanyeol, who offers fifty bucks for the whole set (Baekhyun’s tardiness leads Suho to do it).

“Thanks so much! I’m using these for uh… blackmail! Yeah, that’s what they’re for!”

"Whatever you say,” the drum major replies blankly, counting what was now his money.

 

-

  

Kris notices someone in the clarinets marching strangely.

“What’s wrong with G-14?” He asks Suho.

Suho recognizes G-14 to be Kyungsoo. He watches the boy for a few seconds and concludes that the reed is still up his ass. That really must’ve been some dare.

“So he still hasn’t taken it out,” Suho murmurs.

“What was that?”

“He told me that he had a bad ankle.” Suho is not heartless (Unless it comes to Baekhyun’s tardiness).

 

-

 

Sehun, a mellophone and the other freshman of the two, vomits after doing a few sets.

“What did you have during lunch?” Suho asks, patting the boy’s back. "I-I had some bubble tea,” Sehun stammers.

“You mean dairy? Dairy is a big no no during band camp,” Suho informs gently. This poor boy. His section leaders must have not told-

Several cackles are heard from across the field. Chanyeol and Minseok are on their knees, doubled over in laughter.

Those brassholes.

 

-

 

There are still three hours before the first day of band camp ends, and everyone looks dead (Except for tubas; tubas never look dead with Chanyeol as their section leader). Director Lee is starting to look pissed so Suho decides to rev them up with an offer.

“If we can finish all thirty-two sets of this song, I’ll take you all out for ice cream!”

Minseok is the only one who screams “Yeah!” and runs to find his placement for the next set.

No one else moves.

 

-

 

Suho tries again a few minutes later (He promises that he will buy ice cream for Minseok, though). This time, he tries to threaten them.

“The section who half-asses the next run throughs has to run a lap around the track!” All the instrumentalists gasp. No one in marching band is a good runner (no good runner would join marching band in the first place when they could join a cooler sport like football or cross country).

It works. The next few run throughs are cleaner; more people get to their spots in time and don’t miss their cues as much. Drumline is actually in step for once (Suho remembers to pat Yixing on the back for that one). Woodwinds don’t take two years to go back to the previous set. Brass blare their horns even louder (Except mellophones, but no one ever hears mellophones anyways). The pit stays the pit (Not much room for improvement in the first place).

But Suho takes note of one thing. Guard is even worse now, lugging their poles around and hitting more people than usual during run throughs. He’s about to call them out on it, but a telepathic Luhan looks straight at him and screeches,

“You can’t tell guard what to do! You’re the drum major, not our coach!”

 

-

 

(“Guard doesn’t listen to anyone but their coach, you should know that.”

“Kris, this is not the time for your criticism!”)

 

-

  

During a water break, Baekhyun assures Suho that he has an ultimate solution for everything.

“The section that shows the most effort gets to punch Suho in the face!”

That is ridiculous. No one would-

“Yeah!” Everyone screams, including the colorguard. They drop their water jugs, pick up their instruments (Flags for guard), and run to the field. All of them look up at Suho (Who is on the podium not looking all high and mighty as before) in anticipation for his command.

He laughs in utter disbelief. “Haha, you guys are jo-“

"Get on with it!" Luhan screeches again.

With tense movements, Suho calls the whole band to attention.

 

-

 

Baekhyun’s plans really works, but Suho is too worried about the state that his face will be in after practice ends. Especially when colorguard is presenting the most effort.

 

-

  

(“How could you do that to me?”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“Sh-Shut up!”)

 

-

 

“One more time!” Director Lee calls out.

Except for Suho, Baekhyun, Kris, and the pit, the rest of the band groans because that is the fifth time he has said it. Though the groans aren’t as loud and blood-curdling as they were two hours ago thanks to the award of a good ol’ swing at Suho’s face.

Thanks, Baekhyun.

Kris is definitely Suho’s favorite field lieutenant now.

Before he calls the band back to attention, the saxophones, who are all huddled up in a mini circle, let out a battle cry and disperse. Jongdae has a new look on his face that makes Suho shiver.

In a matter of minutes, the saxes all improve; they are all in step, play almost perfectly with what little practice they had, and never fall from their posture. Suho is truly scared now.

  

-

  

“I’m gonna beat your ass!” Jongdae yells after the run through is finished.

The rest of his section screams with him. They all gather around and do this weird tribal handshake.

Suho questions their morals.

Chanyeol eagerly tries to join in, but is pushed away, resulting in him tumbling to the ground. The Baekhyun nudes happen to fall out of his pocket as well, and land on to the field for everyone to see. The whole band stares.

“I-I can explain!” He cries, gathering the nudes and what was left of his dignity.

Baekhyun’s eyes are bulging. His hands are crossed over his chest, and he taps his foot impatiently as he waits for Chanyeol’s explanation (Along with the rest of the band).

“You see, I uh… Suho sold them to me for fifty bucks!” He points an accusing finger at Suho, making everyone else gasp. Even Director Lee.

Baekhyun’s jaw drops as he glares at Suho and stammers, “I cannot believe you!” He steps off his mini podium and walks towards the tubas, where he snatches his nudes away from Chanyeol. “You aren’t any better!”

Yeah, Kris is still Suho's favorite field lieutenant.

  

-

 

The first day of band camp is officially over, and Suho races to his car, not looking back. He drives away as fast as he can, and the saxophones, in all their fury, pile into Jongdae’s car and chase after him.

Suho ponders on who will take the drum major position if he dies. His bet is on Yixing.

“We’ll get you, Kim Junmyeon!” Jongdae yells from his car. He proceeds to honk five times, offending one of the other cars around them.

“I hate teenagers!” Director Lee calls out. In which the saxophone section leader calls out a quick “sorry” before continuing his chase.

After seven blocks of being pursued by Jongdae, Suho finally manages to shake him off. He sighs in relief, leaning back into his seat. Then, he notices another car furiously hot on his trail.

It’s Minseok.

"You promised that you would buy me ice cream!”

 

-

  

After a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts with Minseok, Suho checks his rearview mirror for any other cars full of angry passengers. Particularly Luhan and his army of flagpoles.

There aren't any, thank god.

 

-

 

Suho sinks into the comfort of his bed. It’s been a long day. Also, he has the worst farmer’s tan ever.

He’s about to fall asleep when his cellphone rings. Suho checks the caller ID to find out that Tao is calling him. He answers the phone with a groggy “hello”.

_“Do you sell nudes of Kris?”_

Suho no longer has a favorite field lieutenant.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, just a new author dropping a new fic here *waves*
> 
> inspired to write this bc of my own high school's marching band (band camp is ending today actually). just a tinge of weird exo and drum major suho, nothing new. forgive me for any mistakes, and thank you for reading this :-)


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